《你好,中国》— (Hello, China)全100集Why We Sleep Together?我们为何要同床共枕？A long time ago, beds were expensive—but there’s more to it than that.很久以前，床比较贵，但还有更多原因。[1] With a guest in town occupying the second bedroom of our Manhattan apartment, my three-year-old son, a notorious sideways sleeper, bunked with my pregnant wife and me. Too many snores and little feet in the back of my neck, I relocated to the sofa, where I was blessed with the best night’s sleep I’ve had in months.〔1〕由于来客占据了我们曼哈顿公寓的次卧，喜欢横着睡的三岁儿子只能和我及怀着孕的老婆挤在一起睡。老婆鼾声不绝于耳，儿子小脚抵住我的后颈，我不胜其扰，只得挪去睡沙发，在那儿睡了几个月来都不曾有过的好觉。[2] As a self-diagnosed insomniac, a good night’s rest for me lasts anywhere from three to five hours. I generally break up the slumber with walks around the apartment, followed by lying awake and unearthing inconsequential paranoia that, come morning, will not live up to the hype. When I hear people claim they get eight hours of sleep each night, they might as well be talking about the Loch Ness Monster, or alien life. All three are things I suppose it’s possible someone may have encountered, but I cannot personally confirm their existence.〔2〕对自认患有失眠症的我而言，不拘何地，只要能持续睡上3到5小时，就算是好觉。我通常会半夜醒来：先是在公寓里来回走动，然后醒着躺在床上，满脑子翻腾琐碎的偏执念头，一到天明，这些念头便成了浮云。因此，当我听到有人说每晚能睡上8个小时，就好似惊闻尼斯湖水怪或外星人——这三件事情，我想可能确实有人遭遇过，但我本人却从来没有亲自验证过。[3] The sleeping conditions were sublime on that couch: a slight rain outside, the muffled traffic of Amsterdam Avenue, and the epiphany that I was sleeping alone—cushions, pillows, and silence all to myself. By the time I awoke, the pigeons were cooing on the windowsill. I had slept through an entire night.〔3〕睡沙发真好：窗外小雨淅淅沥沥，阿姆斯特丹大道上车流稀少，床垫、枕头和安宁只属于我，恍惚觉得好似一人独自沉沉睡去。一觉醒来，鸽子在窗台上“咕咕”叫着。我居然睡了一整夜。[4] “It’s called enlarged mucus membranes. That’s what happens when you’re pregnant,” my wife will explain on nights I reference her snoring. Her job in pregnancy is obvious. Mine is to lie awake, keep quiet, and never, ever Google “pregnancy mucous membranes.” And I cannot confess to her that I slept better on the couch than in our bed. After all, we’re married, and married people sleep together.〔4〕“这是黏膜扩大症，是怀孕造成的”，当我一提到她晚上打鼾，老婆就会这样辩解。的确，她的主责是怀孕。我的任务就是干躺，闭嘴，永远都别用谷歌检索什么“孕期黏膜扩大症”。我更不能对她坦言，睡沙发比睡我们的床舒服得多。毕竟我们是夫妻，夫妻就得同床共枕。[5] “People don’t want to talk about it. It’s a dirty little secret,” says Lee Crespi, a New York City-based couples therapist. “There are people who say sleeping apart is not good because it fosters distance, but I think you can argue both ways. People do, in fact, sleep more soundly when they sleep alone.”〔5〕“人们对此避而不谈，这是个难以启齿的小秘密。”来自纽约市的夫妻关系治疗专家李·克雷斯皮这样说道，“人们不赞同夫妻分床睡，因为这容易滋生距离感，但我觉得应该辩证地看。事实上，分床睡觉时人们的睡眠质量更好。”[6] Years ago during a dinner with friends, the topic turned to a married couple that not only slept in different beds, but different rooms. They were parents, they loved each other, and that was the arrangement that clicked①. My wife and I agreed that would not work for us, that it was important to sleep in the same bed no matter the challenge. One of the perks of being in a relationship is waking up next to someone. Also, more practically, we lived in Manhattan and could not afford separate bedrooms.〔6〕几年前，在一次朋友聚餐上，聊到一对已婚夫妇既分床还分房睡的事。他们已为人父母，感情很好，两个人都觉得分开睡是不错的安排。老婆和我不约而同地表示，那不适合我们，我俩觉得，无论有什么困难，夫妻二人都该同床共枕。一大早能在深爱的人身旁醒来，这本身就是爱情赐予的特别待遇。更现实的一点是，曼哈顿房价太高，我们没条件分房睡。[7] Sleep, much like running a marathon or chewing food, is a solitary activity. We physically lie next to each other, but we sleep alone. So why did this custom originate? According to Virginia Tech professor Roger Ekirch, an historian and author of the book At Day’s Close: Night in Times Past, there used to be a financial incentive to sleeping together, as recently as the 1800s.〔7〕正如跑马拉松和咀嚼食物一样，睡觉是个独自进行的行为。两人虽躺一起，但毕竟是各睡各的。这种夫妇共枕而眠的习俗由何而来？据弗吉尼亚理工学院历史学教授罗杰·埃克奇在《天黑之后：古代的夜晚》一书中所说，在并不算遥远的19世纪，夫妻还是出于经济原因而睡在一起。[8] “Even livestock often resided under the same roof, because there was no other structure to put them in, and they generated welcome warmth. Among the lower classes in preindustrial Europe, it was customary for an entire family to sleep in the same bed—typically the costliest item of furniture,” Ekirch says. “Genteel couples, for greater comfort, occasionally slept apart, especially when a spouse was ill.”〔8〕“那时，连牲口都和人挤在一起，因为没有其他地方安置，这样也便于取暖。在工业化之前的欧洲，低收入阶层习惯一大家子人睡在一张床上，当时，床一般是家里最值钱的家具。”艾克奇说道，“而上层家庭的夫妇，为了睡得更好一些，时不时也会分开睡，当一方生病时更是如此。”[9] Television affirms this, but only partially. Charles and Caroline Ingalls shared a bed in the late 1800’s on Little House on the Prairie, the cabin of which, true to the program’s title, was far too small for a family of six. But Robert and Cora Crawley, who certainly had the funds to support separate snoozing quarters at Downton Abbey circa the early 1900’s, still chose to toss and turn on the same mattress.〔9〕对此，一些影视作品只在一定程度上予以了证实。故事背景设定在19世纪晚期的《草原上的小木屋》一剧中，查尔斯和卡洛琳·英戈尔斯同床睡，而他们的那间小木屋正如剧名所描述的那样，对六口之家来说太挤了。然而，故事背景设定在约20世纪早期的《唐顿庄园》一剧中，尽管罗伯特和科拉·克劳利完全有经济条件来分开睡，但他们还是选择同床共枕。[10] It appears our history of bunking together runs much deeper than just financial necessity. We human beings are also scared of the dark.〔10〕很显然，从历史上看，人们选择同床共枕远非仅仅出于经济原因。作为人类，我们也惧怕黑暗。[11] “Night, man’s first necessary evil, inspired widespread fear before the Industrial Revolution,” Ekirch says. “Never did families feel more vulnerable than when they retired at night. Bedmates afforded a strong sense of security, given the prevalence of perils, real and imagined—from thieves and arsonists to ghosts, witches, and the prince of darkness himself.”〔11〕“在工业革命前，黑夜被人们视为首恶，引发普遍的恐慌。” 艾克奇说道。“劳累了一整天的人们在夜间往往最脆弱。考虑到各种现实的或臆测的危险——盗窃犯、纵火犯、鬼魂、女巫、撒旦——与人睡在一起能够增强安全感。”[12] Borrowing from another television genre, horror movie fans know the safety of sleeping with a partner, under the covers, with the door shut. It’s when one bedfellow goes on solitary reconnaissance to investigate a midnight noise that the chainsaw-wielding madman leaps out of the shadows. In modern times, sleeping together has less to do with being afraid of witches or burglars, but rather the fear of a different, social demon.〔12〕还有另一类电视剧——恐怖片，借鉴于此，不少影迷都了解那种感觉，看完恐怖片，只有和伴侣睡在一起，被子盖得严严的、房门锁得紧紧的才安心。半夜听到异响，同床的伴侣独自一人起身侦察，这时，“电锯狂魔”会突然从暗处跳出。如今，夫妻共枕而眠更多是出于对舆论“恶魔”的恐惧，而非担心女巫或盗贼。[13] “The main issue is if you’re not sleeping in the same bed, the perception is you’re not having sex and people are afraid to admit to sleeping apart,” Crespi says. “I’ve seen it be problematic and not problematic. And a lot really depends on what is going on in the relationship.”〔13〕“主要问题是，如果两人不睡一起，就会被人误以为没有夫妻生活。因此，人们害怕承认分床睡。” 克雷斯皮说道，“依我所见，分床睡是否代表夫妻感情有问题，还得看夫妻关系的实际情况。”[14] Witches, murderers, and marital sex aside, sleeping together has long been a bonding experience.“Often a bedmate became your best friend. Not just married couples, but sons sleeping with servants, sisters with one another, and aristocratic wives with mistresses. Darkness, within the intimate confines of a bed, leveled social distinctions despite differences in gender and status,” Ekirch says. “Most individuals did not readily fall sleep but conversed freely. In the absence of light, bedmates coveted that hour when, frequently, formality and etiquette perished by the bedside.”〔14〕抛开女巫、杀人犯、夫妻生活等不谈，长久以来，睡在一起是一种培养亲密关系的过程。“同床人常常会成为你最好的朋友。不只夫妻可以同床睡，还有同眠的少爷和仆人、姐妹、贵妇人和女伴。夜色弥漫，尽管性别、身份天生有别，但在卧榻上却没有社会地位的区分。”埃克奇说道。“人不会一躺下就睡，常会好好聊一阵子。灯灭了，床友们便乐得享受繁文缛节消失于床侧的那种时光。”[15] We sleep together not because it’s fiscally responsible, but because we are affectionate beings. Our minds need rest, but our minds also need camaraderie and intimacy and whispering. Anxiety and stress seem less intimidating when discussed with a partner while wearing pajamas. It’s important to talk about our days lying side by side, discuss children and household situations, gossip about neighbors and colleagues, plan for tomorrow in the confines of private chambers. We cuddle. We laugh. At the end of each day we remove the onerous cloaks we’ve donned to face the world, and we want to do this lying next to our best friends, to know we’re not in it alone.〔15〕我们睡在一起不是为了省钱，而是因为人类本身就是有情众生。我们的心灵需要休憩，但也需要相亲相爱、亲密无间和呢喃私语。当我们身着睡衣亲密私语之时，压力和焦虑大大消解。对我们而言，在空间有限的私人房间里，并排躺在一起，聊聊白天的事、谈谈孩子和家庭境况、说说邻居和同事的家长里短、安排明天的计划，十分重要。我们间或紧紧相拥、倍觉温暖，间或相视而笑、莫逆于心。我们为了面对世界，穿上了厚厚的保护层，夜幕低垂时，我们将它褪去，一心就想着和最好的朋友躺在一起，慰藉彼此。[16] “We are creatures of attachment,” Crespi says. “We like to have someone close, to be in proximity to other people.”Even when they snore. Especially when they sleep sideways. ■〔16〕“我们是情感动物，”克雷斯皮说道。“我们乐于亲近他人，维持亲密关系。”即使同睡的人打鼾，甚至横着睡，我们还是愿意与之为伴。□1. click〔非正式〕配合默契。 来源：《英语世界》2015年10期长按识别二维码可关注该微信公众平台