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TED-在生命中创造有意义的事,但是要如何着手呢?

2018-03-16 小芳老师

 

我们都希望能发挥长才,在生命中创造有意义的事。但是要如何着手呢?(而且…万一你很害羞怎么办?)作家Kare分享自己患有害羞症的故事,以及她如何透过帮助别人运用才能和热情来开启她的世界。

https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?vid=z03594z4qqk&width=500&height=375&auto=0


0:12

I grew up diagnosed as phobically shy, and, like at least 20 other people in a room of this size, I was a stutterer. Do you dare raise your hand?

0:28

And it sticks with us. It really does stick with us, because when we are treated that way, we feel invisible sometimes, or talked around and at. And as I started to look at people, which is mostly all I did, I noticed that some people really wanted attention and recognition. Remember, I was young then. So what did they do? What we still do perhaps too often. We talk about ourselves. And yet there are other people I observed who had what I called a mutuality mindset. In each situation, they found a way to talk about us and create that "us" idea.

1:16

So my idea to reimagine the world is to see it one where we all become greater opportunity-makers with and for others. There's no greater opportunity or call for action for us now than to become opportunity-makers who use best talents together more often for the greater good and accomplish things we couldn't have done on our own. And I want to talk to you about that, because even more than giving, even more than giving, is the capacity for us to do something smarter together for the greater good that lifts us both up and that can scale. That's why I'm sitting here. But I also want to point something else out: Each one of you is better than anybody else at something. That disproves that popular notion that if you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room. (Laughter)

2:23

So let me tell you about a Hollywood party I went to a couple years back, and I met this up-and-coming actress, and we were soon talking about something that we both felt passionately about: public art. And she had the fervent belief that every new building in Los Angeles should have public art in it. She wanted a regulation for it, and she fervently started — who is here from Chicago? — she fervently started talking about these bean-shaped reflective sculptures in Millennium Park, and people would walk up to it and they'd smile in the reflection of it, and they'd pose and they'd vamp and they'd take selfies together, and they'd laugh. And as she was talking, a thought came to my mind. I said, "I know someone you ought to meet. He's getting out of San Quentin in a couple of weeks" — (Laughter) — "and he shares your fervent desire that art should engage and enable people to connect." He spent five years in solitary, and I met him because I gave a speech at San Quentin, and he's articulate and he's rather easy on the eyes because he's buff. He had workout regime he did every day. (Laughter) I think she was following me at that point. I said, "He'd be an unexpected ally." And not just that. There's James. He's an architect and he's a professor, and he loves place-making, and place-making is when you have those mini-plazas and those urban walkways and where they're dotted with art, where people draw and come up and talk sometimes. I think they'd make good allies. And indeed they were. They met together. They prepared. They spoke in front of the Los Angeles City Council. And the council members not only passed the regulation, half of them came down and asked to pose with them afterwards. They were startling, compelling and credible. You can't buy that.

4:29

What I'm asking you to consider is what kind of opportunity- makers we might become, because more than wealth or fancy titles or a lot of contacts, it's our capacity to connect around each other's better side and bring it out. And I'm not saying this is easy, and I'm sure many of you have made the wrong moves too about who you wanted to connect with, but what I want to suggest is, this is an opportunity. I started thinking about it way back when I was a Wall Street Journal reporter and I was in Europe and I was supposed to cover trends and trends that transcended business or politics or lifestyle. So I had to have contacts in different worlds very different than mine, because otherwise you couldn't spot the trends. And third, I had to write the story in a way stepping into the reader's shoes, so they could see how these trends could affect their lives. That's what opportunity-makers do.

5:32

And here's a strange thing: Unlike an increasing number of Americans who are working and living and playing with people who think exactly like them because we then become more rigid and extreme, opportunity-makers are actively seeking situations with people unlike them, and they're building relationships, and because they do that, they have trusted relationships where they can bring the right team in and recruit them to solve a problem better and faster and seize more opportunities. They're not affronted by differences, they're fascinated by them, and that is a huge shift in mindset, and once you feel it, you want it to happen a lot more. This world is calling out for us to have a collective mindset, and I believe in doing that. It's especially important now. Why is it important now? Because things can be devised like drones and drugs and data collection, and they can be devised by more people and cheaper ways for beneficial purposes and then, as we know from the news every day, they can be used for dangerous ones. It calls on us, each of us, to a higher calling.

7:00

But here's the icing on the cake: It's not just the first opportunity that you do with somebody else that's probably your greatest, as an institution or an individual. It's after you've had that experience and you trust each other. It's the unexpected things that you devise later on you never could have predicted. For example, Marty is the husband of that actress I mentioned, and he watched them when they were practicing, and he was soon talking to Wally, my friend the ex-con, about that exercise regime. And he thought, I have a set of racquetball courts. That guy could teach it. A lot of people who work there are members at my courts. They're frequent travelers. They could practice in their hotel room, no equipment provided. That's how Wally got hired. Not only that, years later he was also teaching racquetball. Years after that, he was teaching the racquetball teachers. What I'm suggesting is, when you connect with people around a shared interest and action, you're accustomed to serendipitous things happening into the future, and I think that's what we're looking at. We open ourselves up to those opportunities, and in this room are key players in technology, key players who are uniquely positioned to do this, to scale systems and projects together.

8:29

So here's what I'm calling for you to do. Remember the three traits of opportunity-makers. Opportunity-makers keep honing their top strength and they become pattern seekers. They get involved in different worlds than their worlds so they're trusted and they can see those patterns, and they communicate to connect around sweet spots of shared interest.

8:55

So what I'm asking you is, the world is hungry. I truly believe, in my firsthand experience, the world is hungry for us to unite together as opportunity-makers and to emulate those behaviors as so many of you already do — I know that firsthand — and to reimagine a world where we use our best talents together more often to accomplish greater things together than we could on our own. Just remember, as Dave Liniger once said, "You can't succeed coming to the potluck with only a fork." (Laughter)

9:38

Thank you very much. Thank you. (Applause)

0:12

我在小时候 曾被诊断为恐惧性害羞, 就像在座的,至少 20人一样 我曾患有口吃。 在场的各位有谁敢举手吗?

0:28

恐惧性害羞时刻伴我们左右。 因为当我们被不善地对待, 我们会觉得被忽视, 我们只能环顾周遭。 而当我开始关注人们, 就像我一直在做的一样, 我注意到有些人, 非常渴望他人的注意力和认同感。 记得吗,我那时还很年轻。 那么,他们那时做了什么呢? 也许是我们常做的事: 谈论自身。 但我也观察到其他人, 他们拥有被我称作“共同心态”的品质。 不同情形下, 他们都能找到谈论我们的方式, 并创造“我们”这一理念。

1:16

所以我关于重塑世界的理念如下: 这是一个让我们都成为自己及他人的 伟大的机会制造者的地方。 再没有比成为为光明前程而使用天赋技能, 并完成我们无法独做的事, 那样的机会制造者, 更宏大的机会 或 行动了。 我也想和你们谈谈 更甚于给予 更有甚者于给予的, 是我们一起,为托举起我们 光明前程并 勇攀高峰 所做的努力。 这就是我坐在此处的原因 但我也想指出一些其他的事: 你们每一个人, 在某些方面,都强于他人。 这反驳了那个流行的观点, 如果你是一个房间中最聪明的人, 那你一定是在一个错误的房间。 (众笑)

2:23

所以让我告诉你们关于 我数年前去的一个好莱坞聚会, 我在那里遇见一位积极进取的女演员, 然后我们开始交谈, 谈我们都热衷的话题:公共艺术。 她有强烈的信念: 在洛杉矶的每座新建筑 都饱含着公共艺术的精髓。 她认为公共艺术应有规章, 然后,她饱含热情地付之以行--- 这里有谁来自芝加哥?--- 她开始热情地谈论, 千禧公园里的, 表面发光且呈豆状的雕塑。 那里的人们走上前, 在镜像里凝眸一笑, 他们摆姿势和造型, 一起自拍, 大笑。 当她在述说的时候, 一个想法闪现在我脑中。 我说:“我认识一个人,你应当去见一面。 他再不久就要离开圣昆廷了。“--- (笑声)--- “他跟你一样,充满热情地认为 艺术应让人们联系在一起。” 他独居五年, 我因在圣昆廷监狱演讲过而有幸结识他, 他满有文化, 他很壮硕,非常好看。 他有健身习惯,每日持续不怠。 (众笑) 一直到这里,她还继续在听我说。 我说:“他会成为你意想不到的助手。” 且不止这个。还有个叫詹姆士的。他是建筑师 ,他还是教授,他最喜欢景观设计, 尤其是那些小商场, 那些城市走道, 也是我们用艺术点缀之地, 是人们涂鸦,相见问好的地方。 我想,他们一定可以合作。 确然如此。 他们相聚,筹备, 在洛杉矶议会厅前演讲, 议会成员通过提案, 而且,半数议员在散会后同他们合影。 他们出色、动人、可靠。 简直千金难买。

4:29

我要问的是, 想想你们会成为, 什么样的机会制造者吧, 因为,更甚于财富, 头衔 或联系人列表的,是我们 发掘他人优势,激发潜能的信念。 这并不容易, 我也确信,你们中很多人, 未曾寻见知己。 但我想要指出的是, 机遇即在眼前。 回溯过往, 我曾是华尔街日报的记者。 我在欧洲的时候,理应关注 贸易趋势 或政治,或生活方式。 所以,我不得不 接触我圈子外的其他人, 反之,你便无法紧跟时代潮流。 同时,我必须站在读者的角度, 去写一篇篇报告。 这样他们才能知晓, 这些趋势对生活的影响。 这便是机会创造者的功能。

5:32

但有一点很奇怪: 不像越来越多的美国人, 只与那些和他们持有相同想法的人 一起工作、生活、玩乐, 那样我们只会更偏激, 机会制造者积极地找寻 与他们不一样的人, 他们构筑联系, 正因为他们这样做 他们拥有相互信任的友谊, 这样的联系使优秀的团队 更快,更好地解决问题, 同时抓住更多机遇。 他们不因相异趋散, 他们为之欢欣鼓舞, 这和我们一般的想法很不同, 一旦你感受到它,你希望它常常发生。 这个世界要我们同心合一, 我是这么相信的。 尤其是现在, 为何? 因为像无人飞行器, 药物,数据收集这些工具, 它们将会广为人所用, 成本越来越低, 然后,就像我们每天从新闻上知道的, 它们也有可能带来危险。 它呼吁我们,我们每个人, 提升理想。

7:00

锦上添花的是: 这不仅是你能同他人合作 的首次机遇, 这也许是, 作为一个机构或个体的最佳机遇。 你们患难与共, 相互信任。 稍候你会发现, 那些你想象不到的事, 之前你从不可能预知的。 举例来说,Marty,那位女演员的丈夫, 她们练习时,他静静观望, 然后他很快开始和我之前提到的 刚出狱的 Wally 聊, 练习方法。 然后他想, 我手头有一些壁球练习室。 他可以在那里教。 许多在那工作的人是我俱乐部的成员。 他们常旅游。 他们可以在没有器材的情况下, 于宾馆房间练习, 那就是 Wally 被雇用的经过。 不只于此,几年后, 他也开始教壁球了, 又过了几年, 他开始教壁球老师了。 我要指出的是,当你和 有共同兴趣和爱好的人交往, 你将习惯于未来 偶然发生的事, 而我想,这也是我们正关注的。 我们敞开胸怀,迎接机遇, 这间屋子里,充满了有一技之长的关键人物, 他们独一无二,为之而生, 一起完成不同任务和目标。

8:29

所以,于此地,我呼吁: 记住机会制造者的三准则吧: 他们凸显自己的优势, 寻求典范。 他们参与不同的圈子, 他们值得信任, 他们知道这些事情该如何发生。 他们交流对话, 话题环绕共同兴趣,

8:55

所以,我想说的是: 世界充满了渴求。 我自己的经验让我相信, 世界需要我们 团结起来,创造机遇, 效之以行, 就像你们中许多人已做的- 我亲历,所以我知道- 去重塑这样一个世界, 在那里,我们更频繁地使用最好的才能, 成就比我们独立而为 更为伟大的事业。 只需谨记, 就像 Dave Liniger 曾说的: “你不能啥也不干, 就想吃白食。” (笑声)

9:38

谢谢。 谢谢大家(掌声)


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