人生有幸 唯你不变

今天13：14，许魏洲突然晒出结婚证宣布结婚，据了解，女方为圈外人。

前天，大S与具俊晔突然官宣结婚。

借（cèng）此（gè）机（rè）会（diǎn），我们来看看“突然结婚”的相关话题。

无注释原文：

A whirlwind romance seems romantic — but two years is the ideal time to wait

INSIDER

Part of what drives speedy marriages is the idea of love at first sight and being swept away. But in reality, the research shows that speedy engagements don't have a good track record, said Melissa Hobley, the CMO at OkCupid.

Anecdotally, you have the likes of Russell Brand and Katy Perry, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, being just a few of the couples who committed after weeks — sometimes even days — of meeting each other. And none of them worked out.

"There's a reason why... the number of those people who are still together is pretty low," Hobley said. "Speedy engagements often don't work out because you haven't gone through life. I'm sure you've been in a relationship with somebody and then s--t hits the fan — losing a job, losing a friend, whatever. That's when you learn the most about someone, when life gets tough."

The first few months of a relationship are the easiest and the most fun, because your life is full of new experiences, and your body is filled with dopamine and oxytocin.

As Claire Stott, a relationship psychologist and data analyst at Badoo told INSIDER in a previous article, it's not all about the butterflies [you get at] the beginning. "A good relationship is a slow burner," she said.

Further down the road, when you lose a parent, a pet dies, or you're in an accident — that's when you really learn the most about each other.

And while infatuation is irresistible, it's the long term connections that really matter when choosing to spend forever with someone else, according to Hobley.

"If you look at the research, people who date for at least two years before they get engaged do have happier marriages," she said. "It's hard to put an exact timeframe on that, because some people get to know each other a lot faster than others... But that's what the data will show, that people knowing someone for a couple of years before making that commitment have the happiest marriages."

Still, short engagements can work

Not every speedy engagement is doomed. They can work, provided you bond over something other than the initial rush of hormones flowing through your veins.

"When you look at the research, folks who have dated less than six months before getting engaged, the data is all over the place," said Hobley. "Some are happy some are very unhappy. What we know is that if people connect over something they care about, and tell each other who they are, those are the kinds of things that help those couples work out."

Also, it's important not to rush into something new if you still have feelings for your ex. That way, you're simply masking your hurt by seeking attention from someone else.

"Dating after a breakup is ok, jumping into something really serious isn't," Hobley said. "Oftentimes, we might not even realise we're not over it. I'm sure there are some exceptions... but it's not great."

- ◆ -

注：中文文本为机器翻译仅供参考，并非一一对应

含注释全文：

A whirlwind romance seems romantic — but two years is the ideal time to wait

INSIDER

Part of what drives speedy marriages is the idea of love at first sight and being swept away. But in reality, the research shows that speedy engagements don't have a good track record, said Melissa Hobley, the CMO at OkCupid.

促使闪婚的部分原因是一见钟情并为之倾倒。但在现实中，研究表明，快速订婚并不好，OkCupid的首席营销官（chief marketing officer）梅丽莎·霍布利（Melissa Hobley）说。

whirlwind /ˈwɝːl.wɪnd/ 1）作名词，表示“旋风”，英文解释为“a tall, spinning column of air that moves across the surface of the land or sea.”

2）作形容词，表示“（事件）旋风般的，飞快的”，英文解释为“A whirlwind event happens very fast, and often unexpectedly.”举个🌰：

They married three months after they met - it was a real whirlwind romance.

他们认识3个月后就结婚了——真是旋风式的恋爱。

1）sweep sb away/along表示“使某人醉心；驱使某人专注；令（某人）着迷，令（某人）倾倒，深深吸引（某人）”，英文解释为“to make sb very interested or involved in sth, especially in a way that makes them forget everything else”举个🌰：

They were swept away by the force of their emotions.

他们受感情的威力所驱使。 

2）sweep sth away表示“消灭；彻底消除；完全打消”，英文解释“to get rid of sth completely”举个🌰：

Any doubts had long since been swept away.

一切怀疑早已完全消除。

表示“业绩记录；成绩记录；过去的成绩或成就”，英文解释为“all the past achievements, successes or failures of a person or an organization”举个🌰：

He has a proven track record in marketing.

他有可靠的销售业绩记录。

Anecdotally, you have the likes of Russell Brand and Katy Perry, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, being just a few of the couples who committed after weeks — sometimes even days — of meeting each other. And none of them worked out.

一些情侣结识对方几周——有时甚至几天——后就承诺结婚，比如传闻中的拉塞尔·布兰德（Russell Brand）和凯蒂·佩里（Katy Perry），帕米拉·安德森（Pamela Anderson）和汤米·李（Tommy Lee）等。他们最终都分开了。

副词 anecdotally /ˌænɪkˈdoʊtəli/ 形容词 anecdotal /ˌænɛkˈdəʊtəl/ 表示“逸事的；趣闻的；传闻的”，英文解释为“based on anecdotes and possibly not true or accurate”，如：anecdotal evidence 传闻的证据。

the likes of sb/sth = sb's/sth's like 表示“…之类”，英文解释为“a person, thing, or group similar in character or quality to the one mentioned”举个🌰：

They're competing with the likes of Microsoft.

他们在跟微软这样的公司竞争。

He was a very great actor - we won't see his like again.

他是个非常了不起的演员——没有人能达到他那样的水平。

📍《经济学人》（The Economist）一篇讲述奢侈品集团思索清空库存方法的文章中提到：Every frock sold by the likes of Gucci or Givenchy is billed as a must-have that season. 古驰或纪梵希之类的品牌把它们的每条裙子都标榜为当季必买。

表示“承诺，保证；（使）忠于；（使）致力于；投入（时间或金钱）”，英文解释为“to promise or give your loyalty, time, or money to a particular principle, person, or plan of action”举个🌰：

Like so many men, he has problems committing himself to a relationship.

像许多男人一样，他也存在用情不专的问题。

📍commit本身也有“订婚，决定与（某人）保持长期感情”的含义，英文解释为：be in a long-term emotional relationship with (someone).

表示“发生；发展；进展顺利”，英文解释为“To happen or develop in a particular way; If a situation works out well or works out, it happens or progresses in a satisfactory way.”举个🌰：

Let's hope this new job works out well for him.

希望这项新工作会非常适合他。

Things just didn't work out as planned.

事情没有像计划的那样进展顺利。

"There's a reason why... the number of those people who are still together is pretty low," Hobley said. "Speedy engagements often don't work out because you haven't gone through life. I'm sure you've been in a relationship with somebody and then s--t hits the fan — losing a job, losing a friend, whatever. That's when you learn the most about someone, when life gets tough."

“这些人中仍然在一起的人数相当少，这是有原因的......”霍布利说，“快速订婚往往没结果，因为你没有经历过生活。我相信你和某人确定关系后，然后就各种麻烦来了——失去工作、失去朋友等等。也就是那时，你最能看清某人，而生活也变得艰难。”

表示“麻烦到来，灾难来临”，英文解释为“When the shit hits the fan or when the shit flies, a situation suddenly causes a lot of trouble for someone.”举个🌰：

I don't want to be here when the shit hits the fan.

麻烦到来时我可不想呆在这里。

The first few months of a relationship are the easiest and the most fun, because your life is full of new experiences, and your body is filled with dopamine and oxytocin.

一段关系刚开始的几个月是最轻松且最有趣的，因为你的生活充满了新体验，你的身体充满了多巴胺和催产素。

dopamine /ˈdəʊpəmiːn/表示“多巴胺（神经细胞产生的一种作用于其他细胞的化学物质）”，英文解释为“a chemical produced by nerve cells which has an effect on other cells”。

oxytocin /ˌɑːk.sɪˈtoʊ-/ 表示“催产素”，英文解释为“a hormone that helps with labour (= the process of pushing out a baby) and helps women and female mammals to produce milk.”

As Claire Stott, a relationship psychologist and data analyst at Badoo told INSIDER in a previous article, it's not all about the butterflies [you get at] the beginning. "A good relationship is a slow burner," she said.

正如Badoo的关系心理学家和数据分析师克莱尔·斯托特（Claire Stott）在之前的一篇文章中告诉INSIDER的那样，并不全是你刚开始时拥有的紧张感。她说：“一段良好的关系会越来越舒适。”

1）除了表示蝴蝶，还可以表示“轻浮多变的人；追求享乐的人”，英文解释为“a person who is not responsible or serious, and who is likely to change activities easily or only be interested in pleasure”举个🌰：

She's such a social butterfly.

她可真是个交际花。

2）短语：have butterflies (in your stomach) 表示“（通常指对将要做的事）感到非常紧张，觉得很心慌”，英文解释为“to feel very nervous, usually about something you are going to do”举个🌰：

I had terrible butterflies before I gave that talk in Hangzhou.

我那次在杭州讲话前感到异常紧张。

表示“随着时间的推移而变得越来越有趣、成功或愉快的人或事物””，英文解释为“something that gradually becomes interesting, enjoyable, successful, etc.” 举个🌰：

It was a bit of a slow burner.

这是部慢热片。

Further down the road, when you lose a parent, a pet dies, or you're in an accident — that's when you really learn the most about each other.

再往后，当你失去父母，宠物死亡，或遇到事故时——那是你最能看清对方的时候。

表示“将来”，英文解释为“in the future”举个🌰：

Cars that drive themselves are in development now, but a marketable product is a long way down the road.

无人汽车正在开发中，但要拿出有销路的产品还有很长的路要走。

And while infatuation is irresistible, it's the long term connections that really matter when choosing to spend forever with someone else, according to Hobley.

霍布利提到，虽然会忍不住迷恋，但选择与他人长厢厮守时，长远的联系才至关重要。

infatuation /ɪnˌfætʃ.uˈeɪ.ʃən/ 表示“（通常短期）热恋，着迷”，英文解释为“strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction”举个🌰：

No one expected their infatuation with each other to last.

没有人认为他们的热恋会持久。

1）表示“无法抗拒的；非常诱人的”，英文解释为“so attractive, desirable etc that you cannot prevent yourself from wanting it”，举个🌰：

Tax-cutting proposals could prove irresistible to lawmakers.

减税议案可能最终会让立法者无法抗拒其诱惑。

2）表示“（力量太强大而）不可遏止的；不可避免的”，英文解释为“too strong or powerful to be stopped or prevented ”，举个🌰：

I was overcome by an irresistible urge to cry.

我控制不住想大哭一场。

"If you look at the research, people who date for at least two years before they get engaged do have happier marriages," she said. "It's hard to put an exact timeframe on that, because some people get to know each other a lot faster than others... But that's what the data will show, that people knowing someone for a couple of years before making that commitment have the happiest marriages."

“如果你看看相关研究，在订婚前至少约会两年的人，他们的婚姻会更幸福。”她说，“这很难用时间来界定，因为有些人比其他人更快地了解对方......。但这就是数据所显示的，在承诺结婚之前就认识几年的人，他们的婚姻最幸福。”

Still, short engagements can work 不过，快速订婚也可能奏效

Not every speedy engagement is doomed. They can work, provided you bond over something other than the initial rush of hormones flowing through your veins.

并非快速订婚的都注定要失败。只要你们除了在最初流经你们血管的那股荷尔蒙冲动之外，还能在其他方面建立联系，快速订婚也会奏效。

表示“注定失败（或灭亡、毁灭）的”，英文解释为“certain to fail, die, or be destroyed”举个🌰：

This is a doomed city.

这是一座注定要毁灭的城市。

作连词，表示“如果；只要”，英文解释为“if, or only if”举个🌰：

He's welcome to come along, provided that he behaves himself.

他只要守规矩就欢迎他来。

表示“不同于；除了”，英文解释为“different from or except”举个🌰：

Cruises other than the ones listed below are not discounted at this time.

除了下面列出的乘船游览项目以外，其他项目没有折扣。

1）表示“急速流动（或行进）；猛冲”，英文解释为“the act of suddenly moving somewhere quickly”举个🌰：

There was a rush of air as she opened the door.

她一打开门，一阵风忽地吹了进来。

2）表示“（突然的）一阵强烈感情；（身体的）一阵感觉；迸发的情绪；情绪迸发”，英文解释为“a sudden strong emotion or physical feeling；a sudden strong emotion or sign of strong emotion”如：a sudden rush of excitement/fear/anger 突然感到的兴奋/恐惧/愤怒，举个🌰：

The memory of who he was came back to him with a rush.

他忽地一下子想起了自己是谁。

"When you look at the research, folks who have dated less than six months before getting engaged, the data is all over the place," said Hobley. "Some are happy some are very unhappy. What we know is that if people connect over something they care about, and tell each other who they are, those are the kinds of things that help those couples work out."

“当你看到相关研究时，你会发现订婚前约会不到六个月的人，不胜枚举。”霍布利说，“有些人很幸福，有些人则非常不幸福。众所周知，如果人们在其关心的事情上建立联系，并告诉对方他们是谁，这都是帮助这些情侣终成眷属的事情。”

1）表示“凌乱，杂乱”，英文解释为“put or left in a lot of different places in an untidy way”举个🌰：

There were dirty dishes and clothes all over the place.

脏餐具和脏衣服到处都是。

2）表示“到处”，英文解释为“in every place”举个🌰：

You can buy T-shirts like this all over the place.

你在哪儿都能买到这样的T恤。

Also, it's important not to rush into something new if you still have feelings for your ex. That way, you're simply masking your hurt by seeking attention from someone else.

此外，重要的是，如果你忘不了前任，不要急于追求新的。那样的话，你只是通过寻求别人的关注来掩盖你的痛苦。

表示“仓促做；匆忙做；草率地做”，英文解释为“If you rush into something such as a job, you start doing it without having really decided if it is the right thing to do or having considered the best way to do it.”

"Dating after a breakup is ok, jumping into something really serious isn't," Hobley said. "Oftentimes, we might not even realise we're not over it. I'm sure there are some exceptions... but it's not great."

“分手后约会没问题，但投入真正严肃的事情就不行了。”霍布利说，“很多时候，我们甚至可能没有意识到我们还没有结束某段关系。我确信存在一些例外......但这不是很好。”

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