「故事·听力」I Lost Everyone I Loved But I Still Love My Life

I Lost Everyone I Loved But I Still Love My Life

This is Katrina. What she’d like to share with you is not strictly speaking a story – it’s more of a feeling. She can’t explain why, but she’s had the urge to share it for a while.

Katrina…loves her life.

Her mom left her when she was 11. It seems that she was never happy living with Katrina and her dad; she just got too tired. As far as Katrina can remember, they didn’t got on very well, since her mom would get mad and yell at her almost every other day. The last time they spoke on the phone (which has happened only a few times over the past few years), she seemed pretty happy with her life, alone, hundreds of miles away from them, and she didn't seem all that willing to keep in touch. But…the fact that she’s happy makes Katrina happy.

Her dad is an amazing person who has done so much for her over the years. He had a hard time getting out of bed for a while after her mom left, and he still gets sad from time to time. She tries to help him with whatever she can. Thankfully, he’s been seeing a therapist for a while now, and it seems that he’s getting much better.

Her dad likes to say that in his darkest moments, Katrina was a source of optimism and energy for him.

A few months after her mom left, as Katrina and her dad were slowly getting back into a normal mode of life, they lost their house. They’re both still not sure how it actually happened. It was about 3 in the morning when the fire started somewhere in the kitchen, and her dad was there. He had stayed up really late that night. But he's never been able to recall why the fire started, and Katrina didn’t press him for details. She’s just glad they both made it out alive that night.

When her dad noticed the house was on fire, he ran upstairs to wake her up. He was determined to carry her out of the house in his arms. But she told him that she could get herself out of the house, since the way to the exit was pretty clear, and her dad ought to go get their cat Jesse. He ran to the bedroom to get him, while she ran down and out of the door. She wasn’t panicking at all, but she was really nervous, of course, so as she was running down the stairs, she slipped and fell down. She got up immediately and ran outside, not feeling any pain – and later she would learn that she had in fact broken her right leg and heavily twisted her left ankle. But at the time she just stood by the porch, praying that her dad would be okay. Finally, her dad ran outside with Jesse in his arms, who was frightened to death, and some papers and valuables in his hand. The firemen came as soon as they could, but they couldn’t save the house. It burned down really quickly. Katrina cried…with happiness, because her dad was fine and Jesse was alive too. And as the adrenaline stopped pumping and she started to relax a little, she started to feel severe pain in both her legs.

She spent the next few weeks in hospital – she almost couldn’t walk – while her dad lived in a motel and spending as much time with her as he could.

While she was in hospital, the doctors performed some tests on her and found a congenital heart defect. They said that it was somehow overlooked when she was a child. She doesn’t really want to get into the details of that, but she was told it could strike at any moment, day or night. It also could not be treated right away, so for two months she felt like her life was up in the air. She started having panic attacks and feeling really anxious, but eventually she suddenly had the thought: if I couldn’t do anything about it, then I guess I should just get on with my life. Two months after that, she had an operation, and everything went well.

When she could walk again after the fire, they moved in with her dad’s parents in the neighboring city, since their burned down house needed a lot of work. Her grandma Anne was so nice to them, and she’s also a very cheerful person. Well, she was. They got really close over the year they lived with them. Anne died four months ago, and her dad has had a hard time dealing with it, but she’s really proud of him.

Three days ago they moved back into their house, and it feels even better than it did before. And her dad seems happy with it, too.

This feeling that Katrina’s been having over the last few months is just that – she loves her life. Everything that’s happened has been part of a learning experience, and she feels lucky to have known her mom, to have known Anne, and to have her dad by her side. And, of course, at times she has felt sad and anxious and even desperate, but she always knew that it wouldn’t last forever. And even when she felt that way, she knew there were still so many things to be grateful to the world for.