"You are an asshole"
You might be put off a bit or enraged by the title. Please do not. At least not until you hear the whole story and judge for yourself the validity or invalidity of the statement.
A long time ago I watched the eponymous YouTube video by American comedian Louis CK. He makes a great point, albeit in vulgar language (a comedian's prerogative):
Self-love is a good thing, but self-awareness is more important. You need once in a while, go, I am kind of an asshole. You have to have that thought once in a while. Or you are a psychopath. You know when you say to a friend of yours, "you are being an asshole." They are like, no, I am not. Well, it's not up to you if you are an asshole or not. It's up to everybody else. Louis CK
It is rather short, but the message sticks. Counterintuitively, this is partly thanks to the vulgar language used (say, the no-no word "asshole"). We try to avoid vulgar language in public discourse because it is socially awkward and even offensive. But I am a fan. Though unrefined, vulgar language connects directly and deeply with the ideas that matter, cutting through the red tape of diction.
Louis CK's message is a timely and timeless reminder that humans are pitiful creatures who are madly protective of their fragile self-esteem. When confronted, their intuitive response often is to ignore or negate the question at issue, scratch for excuses, and shift focus. "The unexamined life is not worth living," admonished Socrates. But people would rather comfortably live in the unexamined dark dank cave, untouched by the dazzling yet nourishing sun.
People are reluctant to admit their wrong-doing because somehow admission of sins is seen as a sign of spinelessness. Populists like Donald Trump have used this against his contenders and predecessors. Plus, to unaccustomed confessors, it does not feel as great as being recognized or praised for some heroic act.
Another reason people shy away from admissions is they are not being held accountable or the consequences are not immediate. This is why I like poker. The essence of poker is to maximize value and minimize loss. To do this, you have to make as many good decisions (and as few bad ones) as possible. You are rewarded for making good ones and punished for making bad ones. You are responsible for your own fortunes or misfortunes. You cannot turn a blind eye to your weaknesses and blame bad luck if you want to be consistently profitable.
Louis CK is spot on because we are assholes at one point or another. Life is full of undesirable truths. We have to deconstruct these truths to get to the sunny side of them so that we can live with them and live happier lives. Paradoxically, those who admit the fastest that they are assholes are the least assholy.
P.S. The workplace is where work-related misconceptions fester. Come join Eric to reexamine the concepts and principles we have taken for granted for far too long.
孟庆伟 Justin
个人微信 ID：justinqmeng
现象级英语联合创始人
《经济学人》11 年研究者
雅思写作 8 分，口语 8 分
题图：YouTube
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